(Story by Linda R. from Chemistry and Numbers 2: Sexy, Funny, Horrifying, and Yes, Successful Online Dating Stories from more than 50 Online Daters)
There is an inherent relationship with the words “chemistry and numbers” much like the double helix strand of DNA. If there is enough chemistry and enough numbers the result is an explosive success. So it was true with the fireman, Adam.
I began my foray into my post divorce dating by thinking “well, I can get all dolled up, get a baby sitter, go to a bar and hope destiny drops a candidate in the same place as I sit- which is kind of like throwing a fishing line into the South Bronx and hope there’s some water holding a fish. The odds of success are marginal. Or, I could look at dating sites, in this case, Craigslist and “shop” in my underwear. (How hot is that?) I chose the latter. Ok, I’m cute and smart.
Having dated Christopher, a fireman from Brooklyn living in Staten Island, I liked what I saw. (p.s. lots of civil servants- i.e. cops and fireman live in Staten Island) Unfortunately Christopher (to quote him) had a “commitment issue” but not an “intercourse issue”. Phew, what a relief or I would have really lost out. Or to put in layperson’s terms- he was a one time only guy. But that’s another story. Firemen, I have experienced are fairly gutsy men with a high confront level –and a passion that I have yet to see in other professions. They are also expected to be in good shape and they can cook. Duh, a no brainer, right?
So, enter, lets call him fireman number two for now. I actively scanned the firemen ads one after the other, hence the numbers game of the title until ding ding in comes Adam..Oh wait, that happens later. The photo showed a well- built Italian guy- and if you like Italian or Irish, that pretty well covers the NYFD, though there are other groups represented, but for my tastes, who cares about the others. So, Adam and I email each other a few minutes..I like to think of it as a few drinks without the alcohol and makeup. I was liking this system of meeting men. I had been with my prior for more than 10 years and dating options had progressed in a good way.I received a voice mail from Adam and I must say his voice alone was enough to send me to the brink of orgasm. Ok, I admit it, I am an , er verbal woman.
The pressure was on to meet- but this was the big blizzard of 2006 and it was coming in a few hours, it was already snowing heavy. I have this hunky fireman and a fire of my own burning..tick tock tick tock. What to do? He said he had no problem driving from outside NYC to my apartment for cocktails- emphasis on the “cock”. “Hey,” I thought, “I’m a big girl, I’ve got protection and a hot fireman hot for me,” Nice work if you can get it..and I did!
I had a black stretch velvet dress with handless gloves from my sex on the dining room table with Christopher (ok, my idea) in front of the mirror- but hey, he did make me an awesome dinner and I am an appreciative guest. So I figure firemen think alike and it was a safe bet for Adam.
So, I have Jack Daniels waiting, open the door and while he looked older than the photo- he was, and not nearly as muscular, he did have that arrogant Italian persona and was in good shape. Oh mama, I wanted a slice of that pie. We were about to get 6 more inches of snow and an undeterminable amount of fireman. He saw me all svelte and looking like liquid velvet in that dress and the happiness showed in his big..smile. For a brief, and I mean brief moment I thought “what am I doing? Here’s a perfect stranger- well maybe not perfect but sexy and I am about to take him down with no more than a shot of Jack Daniels and my first name. I did and I liked it!
There was a certain risk to this encounter. First, he could’ve hurt me or worse, but I saw his ID and believe the chances are reduced in dating cops and firemen. Not totally removed, mind you, but reduced. Turns out Adam had been a cop before. Oh baby, double bonus! I was not worried that he would “come on to me”. I may have been a novice in the on line dating ways, but I was savvy enough to know when a woman invites an essential stranger to her house, she is saying yes as soon as she opens the door. Women, make no mistake and take not that chance unless you are saying yes. That’s why they make public places. Please take me very seriously on this point.
The chemistry was fantastic- but it was fantastic before we even met- meeting was just a mere formality. Here was this hot strapping fireman dragging me all over my room, leaving bruises and scrapes along the way and me watching in the mirror like a kid in a candy store. The air was so hot with desire I thought he might have to get a hose and put himself out. He had to be home early in the morning and had told me that, so he left about 3 a.m. I walked him to his truck (not a firetruck…damn!) and kissed him goodbye, never even thinking if I would or wouldn’t see him again. Just basking in the passion. Surprisingly, he called on his way home. That was a sweet surprise. He even sent a cute Valentines Day Ecard (again, an internet first for me). We saw each other a few times after that, but he was very evasive with his schedule and for me it seemed a bit “gamesy”. He thought I was rushing him into something- I just wanted to know if/when he was available. It became a problem for us and I began dating someone else. Adam did not take kindly to that and had his own rendition of the situation. He pursued me more when Steve came into the picture and after Steve and I fizzled, I called Adam. We saw each other once, nothing happened . He couldn’t get past being passed by for a fat guy and it was apparent that our time had come and gone, so to speak. Even though,we did not end up as a couple, I consider this adventure a great success in dating. The chemistry was combustible and the fishing with a lot of fireman “lines” (numbers) proved to be a highly successful endeavor for me. I heartily recommend following your heart in on -line dating. And if that doesn’t work, follow whatever organ is speaking the loudest!