OK…the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.
The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.
Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.
Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.
Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.
6 Tips For Writing The Perfect Online Dating Profile
1 Give a snapshot of who you are, how you live your life and the relationship you are seeking.
Your profile should start out by describing your most prominent and positive character traits. Are you funny? Outgoing? Creative? Loyal? Affectionate? Intellectually curious? Choose 3 or 4 adjectives that best describe your personality. If you’re at a loss, ask your friends for help describing you. How would they describe you to someone they were setting you up with?
2 Who you want to meet – the character, not the characteristics.
I can’t emphasize this enough. Please be sure to say who you want to meet in your profile, without sounding overly specific as to their characteristics. Avoid listing your ideal partner’s hobbies, height, body type, education and interests.
When you focus on character, you are being specific as to your values, which will resonate with like-minded people. If you focus on characteristics you risk sounding superficial, rigid, or overly picky. These are not attractive qualities!
3 Show, don’t tell.
When you are writing about who you are and how your live your life, be sure to show the reader what that looks like in action. You are trying to attract the right people to you, and to do that you need to be specific.
For example, many people say in their profiles they like to travel. “Travel” could mean anything from a trip to Disneyworld to hiking the Appalachian Trail to a Mediterranean cruise to a luxury safari in Kenya. Don’t assume that the reader is going to know which of these you’d be into!
4 Leave out the negative and the snarky.
It amazes me how many people use their precious profile real estate to talk about what they don’t want or about their cynicism, bitterness or pessimism.
If you say “drama queens need not apply” I will assume that you have tons of relationship drama, which means you don’t have the self-awareness to see how much of it you create!
5 Decide the story you want to tell.
Your profile tells a story. It shouldn’t be a novel (consider this a bonus tip!), but a short story that captures your personality. It might tell the story of an athletic, ambitious world traveler, or a geeky, sincere introvert. Or it could tell the story of a bitter, demanding perfectionist. Review your profile, photos and text together and ask yourself.
6 Check your spelling and grammar.
Since we’re talking about writing a profile, I have to mention spelling and grammar. There is a lot of bad spelling and grammar out there. And there are a lot of online profiles that list spelling mistakes and bad grammar as a pet peeve. And some of those same people have spelling mistakes and bad grammar in their profiles!